our story

Our Story: Part Four {Becoming "Official"}

Hi friends! I want to share with you a series of posts I wrote last year on my old blog since I have so many new friends reading my posts. I especially want new brides and prospective brides to see my story since they're allowing me to play such an important role in capturing their story and photographing their wedding day! Here is the fourth and final part to this series.

After my conversation with Alex was over, I had one day left in the conference. I didn't see him that day and I drove back to South Carolina. Back to reality. But suddenly, my reality had changed into something very different. Just as I was arriving home, I felt my phone buzz and looked down to see Alex calling me. I immediately felt butterflies in my stomach and was tempted not to answer just like I had the first time he ever called me, but I picked up the phone and click "accept." Alex talked cheerfully on the other side of the phone and the butterflies quickly dissipated as I answered his questions. At the time, I had no idea that phone conversation would be the first of a daily habit for the rest of my life. Since that day (October 17th, 2013 to be exact), Alex and I have either seen each other in person or talked on the phone every day.

Alex told me that he decided to come to Clemson the weekend following the conference to watch the Florida State/Clemson game with family (well at least that's the reason he gave me...). Since he was in town, Friday night we went on our third "official" date at the Starving Artist Cafe in Easley, SC. We had wonderful conversation and for the first time, I made myself more vulnerable to Alex. I told him my testimony and shared with him some areas about my story and background that are difficult to tell. I felt very comfortable and at ease with him. To my surprise, after being very vulnerable, he abrubtly said he had to go back home to see his family and quickly said goodbye. I was so upset the whole drive home and it was then that it hit me how much I liked Alex. Why was I so upset and worried? It was because I had just made myself vulnerable to a man I was growing a deep affection for and I cared strongly about what he thought of me. As C.S. Lewis so eloquently writes,

 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

I was afraid. I was afraid of being vulnerable with Alex and him rejecting me. But that's what love is isn't it? It's costly and it's scary. And it's worth the risk.

It's funny to reflect on that evening now because Alex had a totally different perspective. He thought the night when great and my vulnerability and openness only made him grow fonder of me. He only had to go quickly because he knew his family was waiting on him and expecting him to get back at a certain time. 

The next day Alex invited me to watch the FSU/Clemson game with him and his family. And by family I mean his ENTIRE family. All six of his siblings, his parents, and even his grandparents were there! I felt like the pressure was on and I was so nervous to meet the family of the guy I was "dating" but had only know 2 weeks and wasn't even officially his "girlfriend" yet. I mean, how would he introduce me..."Hey family, this is my friend who's a girl who's name is Jenna that I've only known 14 days. She's great!" Like any mature woman would do, I forced my friend Krystal to come with me as my wing woman. There's no way I was going to take on all of that by myself! Krystal joked in her toast at our wedding that she knew things were going well with Alex because I never asked her to be my wing woman again after that night!

To my surprise and delight, Alex's family was absolutely wonderful and they made me feel welcome and comfortable right away. There was so many people there, I didn't feel like I was the center of attention or like I was being judged at all. That night, I realized what a unique gift Alex has in his family and since that day they have never ceased to be a very rich blessing from the Lord to me. 

The next day, on Sunday October 19th, 2013, Alex came to Crosspoint with me in the morning. Right after the service was over Alex leaned over to our mutual friend Alecia and asked her if she'd take a picture of us. I freaked out a little inside and wondered, "What do I do for our first picture ever together? Do I put my arm around him? Do I look ok??" We simply stayed where we were sitting and I followed as Alex put his arm around me. Pictured below is the semi-akward, somewhat stiff, first picture we ever took together.

Alex and I went to Starbucks briefly just after the service before he had to go back to North Carolina. I still felt a little unclear about what we "were" or where our relationship was headed. He told me earlier that week he didn't think labels were important and that he just wanted to continue getting to know me. Over coffee at Starbucks I nervously told him that I had enjoyed spending time with him over the weekend. I said, "I know you said you don't think labels are important when we talked earlier and that's fine with me. I don't want to put any pressure on you or take the lead, I just want to be clear on what we're doing. If someone asks, should I say that we're boyfriend and girlfriend or just that we're not there yet?" He quickly said, "Oh sure, definitely! I just said that because I didn't want you to feel any pressure. I would love to be your boyfriend!" A felt a wave a relief and sad goodbye to Alex with a mixture of excitement and sadness in my heart. 

That evening I prayed, "Lord, thank you so much for bringing Alex into my life! I surrender my relationship with him to You and pray for Your will. Please help us to date well and in a way that glorifies you to all who are watching. Please give us wisdom and discernment as you lead and guide us." 

I believe that God very faithfully answered those initial prayers I prayed for our relationship. He gave us wisdom, discernment, and peace about our relationship and we quickly knew it was His will for us to be married. After five months of dating, Alex asked me to be his wife on March 2nd, 2014 and we were married on August 29th, 2014. 

Thank you for following along with me as I have shared our story! Whatever season you are in your life, I hope it has been an encouragement and blessing to you of God's faithfulness and provision. 

In case you missed it, here's part one, part two, and part three of our story.

 
Our first ever picture together! This was taken on 10/19/13.

Our first ever picture together! This was taken on 10/19/13.

 

Our Story: Part Three {The First Date}

Hi friends! I want to share with you a series of posts I wrote last year on my old blog since I have so many new friends reading my posts. I especially want new brides and prospective brides to see my story since they're allowing me to play such an important role in capturing their story and photographing their wedding day! I also never wrote the fourth and final part of our story! So I'll be posting parts one through three and then I'll end this series with a new part four. Enjoy!

October 15th had finally arrived. The day of our big date. I spent the entire day at a church planting conference listening to different speakers and attending breakout sessions. It was hard to stay focused on the conference but I was thankful for the distraction because it took my mind off what was about to happen a little later. After the conference our staff team headed back to our hotel. Everyone else was going out to dinner but I had to go get ready for my date. It was...interesting knowing I'd be going on my first date with Alex with our entire staff team there. It sort of felt like my whole family was there to see me off; a little overwhelming, and yet it also made me thankful for the love and support I have in our staff.

Abbey and Krystal walked down to the foyer with me so they could join everyone else for dinner and so that I wouldn't have to walk out alone. I felt the nervousness rise in my stomach as I waited to get to the ground floor. When the elevator doors opened, I saw Alex sitting across from us. He looked handsome and a little nervous in his blue button down shirt as he jumped up to shake our hands and greet us.

We hopped in Alex's car and as soon as we got in, music started playing really loudly. I was a little confused as to why Alex would want to play music so loudly right away but I didn't know him well enough to ask. After talking briefly, he explained that his radio was broken and he couldn't turn the volume down. Still feeling nervous as we pulled up to the thai restaurant, and I hoped I'd be able to eat.

Alex and I had good conversation over dinner. I was a little surprised because he came across as so easy to talk to and fun at Fall Getaway. Our date felt much more serious though. Alex led the conversation well and asked me good questions. But most of his questions were theological and we ended up talking about theology for probably 70% of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about theology but I felt a little like I was on a job interview. At some point in the date he asked me my favorite paper I wrote in seminary and then proceeded to ask me the Scripture references I used to argue my point! Yikes! I was sure I sounded completely unintelligent and unimpressive to him. I felt like he was way more eloquent and knowledgeable than I was!

After dinner he said he had a surprise for me. We pulled up to Barnes and Noble and he asked me to pick out three books. One book to represent my past, one to represent my present, and one to represent my future. I was impressed that he was being so intentional and I loved that this part of the date involved books. However, I felt really intimidated by this part of the date at the same time! I mean, I want to pick books I like but I don't want to pick too many "spiritual" books. But I also don't want to pick too few "spiritual" books. What was he expecting?! And I knew he'd want a reason for why I picked each of the books! In case you're wondering, I ended up picking Little WomenWuthering Heights, and Life Together. I'll spare you the reasons why.

After the date was over and Alex dropped me off, I wrote in my journal, "I had my first date with Alex last night and I feel like it's 'brought me back to earth' a little (don't worry, Alex and I laugh about the fact that I wrote that now!). It was good but not great. I don't feel like I have 'butterflies' or anything." After thinking it through, I realized I was probably relying too much on my emotions and "experience." I was thankful that he seemed serious about getting to know me (even if that made our date a little interview-ish...who has a great first date anyway?!) and I was interested to see what the next day would be like.

The day after our date, Alex attended the church planting conference my staff team and I were at. Talk about intimidating! I knew everyone would be watching us and I wasn't even sure exactly how I felt about Alex! However, from the very beginning things went way better. I was so impressed with the fact that Alex came to the conference and with his confidence in interacting with people. I found myself very attracted to him and interested in him throughout the day. I definitely wanted to get to know him better and really hoped he felt the same way about me.

At the end of the night, we went out to get frozen yogurt together. This was the first time we'd be alone all day. Unfortunately, in the span of ten minutes I managed to spill frozen yogurt on the front of my shirt and the shop closed! So we got in the car and almost immediately after we pulled away Alex abruptly said, "Well Jenna, I really value honesty and transparency (I was thinking...have I been dishonest? Is he about to rebuke me?!)...and so I want you to know that I like you and would like to intentionally get to know you better." I told him that I thought he'd done a great job so far and led really well and that made me respect him and want to follow him. I also told him that I loved getting to know him so far and would like to continue getting to know him better. Neither one of us knew exactly how that would be since we were long distance but we talked through what that could look like.

At the end of the conversation he said, "I can't guarantee how this will end but, whatever happens, I hope we will both be more pointed to Christ as brother and sister."

When I got back to the hotel and began to process the night, I was so thankful to God for giving me a man that communicated his intentions so clearly. I remember thinking, so this is what it looks like to be pursued by a godly man. I felt led to trust Alex and felt so much peace that the Lord was leading and guiding both Alex and I. What a blessing from the Lord!

To be continued...

Our Story: Part One
Our Story: Part Two

Our first picture ever taken together right after we officially became "boyfriend and girlfriend" (5 days after our first date)

Our first picture ever taken together right after we officially became "boyfriend and girlfriend" (5 days after our first date)

 

Our Story: Part Two {Pre-First Date}

Hi friends! I want to share with you a series of posts I wrote last year on my old blog since I have so many new friends reading my posts. I especially want new brides and prospective brides to see my story since they're allowing me to play such an important role in capturing their story and photographing their wedding day! I also never wrote the fourth and final part of our story! So I'll be posting parts one through three and then I'll end this series with a new part four. Enjoy!

My roommates and I sat on my bed giggling and talking excitedly about Alex asking for my number a few hours earlier. We decided to look him up on Facebook and see what else we could learn about him. In the middle of our Facebook stalking my phone buzzed and as I picked up I saw my first text from...Alex DiPrima!! It said, "Hey Jenna! I really enjoyed meeting you this weekend and I'd like to connect when you're in Raleigh next week for the conference." He was referring to a church planting conference I told him about that me and my Crosspoint staff team would be at in Raleigh the upcoming week. My roommates and I analyzed every word. "Connect" what does that mean? Does he mean a business connection? "Connect" and talk about Generation LINK? Or "connect" on a date?

I wrote in my journal later that day, "I am so in awe of God's provision! Even if this doesn't go anywhere, It's a reminder that God can and does provide and it's often in the most unexpected ways. Lord, please forgive me for often doubting your provision and lacking trust. You are so faithful and you hear our prayers!"

I also wrote a list of things I admired about Alex after interacting with him over the weekend. It amazes me how accurate these things are and how much I still admire these things (and many more!) about him today!
"The things I've noticed and admired about Alex so far are:
-His passion and love for Christ and the church
-His intentionality and leadership
-His intelligence
-His humility and gentleness
-His maturity
-His love for his family
-His encouragement and clear communication
-His ability to connect with new people
-The community he seems to have around him
-His passion for church planting and teaching Scripture

After work on Tuesday I headed home and laid down on the couch to take a quick nap. I had just started to fall asleep when I heard my phone ringing and as I picked it up, "Alex DiPrima" popped up on my screen. My heart immediately began racing. What? He's calling me already? I really didn't think I'd hear from him until the weekend. What do I do?! I wasn't prepared for this!!! So I did what any mature adult would do, I silenced it and didn't answer.

I immediately regretted that decision. Why did I silence it?! Maybe he'll leave a voicemail. No voicemail. Shoot! I guess that means I have to call him back. Just be normal! I decided to immediately call him back because I knew if I didn't do it right then, I'd get way too nervous. "Why is he calling me already?," I wondered. Is he going to ask me out on a date? Did he change his mind?

Alex answered the phone and said, "I looked up the NACPF conference and it looks great! I'm planning on coming for a day of the conference. Also, I'm sure you're going to be really busy that week but I'd love to take you out to lunch or dinner on Monday, or Tuesday, or Wednesday..." I loved that he listed all the days I was going to be there, I felt like he really wanted to do whatever he it took to spend time with me! I told him my schedule and we decided on Tuesday night. He ended the conversation by saying, "Ok great, it's a date! See you Tuesday!" It's a date? It's a date! I guess that's what "connect" meant! loved how intentional he was and how clearly he continued to communicate with me.

7 days. That's how much time stood between me and my date with Alex. I wavered between excitement, doubt, fear, and nervousness. One of our only communications that week was when Alex texted me and said, "I have an important question, do you like thai food?" I couldn't believe it when I read that! Thai food is my favorite! After telling him that he texted me back and said, "I'm not sure I should be saying this before the first date but I'm really exited to be going out with you."

The picture to the right was taken the day before our first date. I was driving to Raleigh and my friend Krystal texted me, "You're going on a DATE tomorrow!!!" The picture is what I texted back to her. I'm so glad I took this picture because I think it captures what I was feeling so well! So many questions were rolling around in my mind. Is the date going to be awkward? Do we have enough in common? Can I trust this guy? Is he really as godly of a man as seems to be? What if I do something embarrassing on the date? What if I really like him and he decides he doesn't like me? Or what if he really likes me and I don't know if I like him?

The morning of our date I reflected on Matthew 6:33-34, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

I needed to remember those verses. Above everything else, I know God is calling me to seek Him first. God has not called me to marry Alex yet, He's just called me to trust Him enough to go on a date with him. There's no reason to be scared when I trust the Lord's leading.

I also reflected a lot on encouragement a dear friend said to me, "Know that God has opened this door for you - so don't be afraid to step through it. When my husband was pursuing me I sometimes had to remind myself that it was okay for me to open up my emotions and really 'like' him. I was afraid it was too good to be true or that somehow it was all going to end and my heart would be left broken. But God isn't like that. He doesn't dangle something good in front of us just to jerk it away. He is good and he allowed Alex to come into your life and if it doesn't work out that was His plan and He will be faithful to get you through that."

To be continued...

Our Story: Part One

Our Story: Part One {Meeting Alex}

Hi friends! I want to share with you a series of posts I wrote last year on my old blog since I have so many new friends reading my posts. I especially want new brides and prospective brides to see my story since they're allowing me to play such an important role in capturing their story and photographing their wedding day! I also never wrote the fourth and final part of our story! So I'll be posting parts one through three throughout this week and then I'll end this series with a new part four. Enjoy!

I'll never forget October 4th, 2013.  It began as any other day as I prepared to go on Crosspoint's annual college Fall Getaway. It would be my fifth time attending Fall Getaway as a Crosspoint staff member. I felt like I knew what to expect and was excited about the prospect of interacting with new freshman and hopefully building relationships with more college girls. Little did I know I would meet my soon-to-be husband that day!

During the four years I was single after college, I wrestled with contentment in singleness in different ways and at various points. There were seasons of much contentment and victory, and there were seasons of discontentment and struggle. Through it all, God's grace sustained me and He gave me much joy in Christ! He used my singleness to draw me closer to Himself and teach me so much. This post captures a few of the many things the Lord taught me in singleness. Here's a few other resources that greatly encouraged me: Single in ChristSingle, Satisfied, and Sent, and Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?

I was always hesitant to pray for a future husband. I think it was because I didn't want my hope to rest in finding a husband but rather, in Christ. Deep down I think it was also because I was afraid the Lord would not answer my prayers in the way I expected. However, after encouragement from friends, I began praying more fervently for a husband in the fall of 2013. September 29th (five days before I met Alex) I prayed: "Father, I submit myself to you this morning as my King and Authority. I know you have the right to call me to anything, including a life of singleness. I long for a husband with more intensity than I ever have and pray that you would bring a godly man and future husband into my life. Yet I trust you and know you will sustain me and give me joy as I continue to walk with You. Please help me to to not be like the people in Judges (I was reading Judges at the time) who did what was right in their own eyes. Please help me, by your grace, to obey you and submit myself to you, even if that's costly." 

A few days later my Bible reading plan led me to 1 Samuel and Hannah's prayer for a child. My mentor Marilyn had just talked to me about the same passage and challenged me to trust the Lord enough to boldly pray for a husband. 1 Samuel 1:10-11 says, "[Hannah] was deeply distressed and prayed to the LORD and wept bitterly. And she vowed a vow and said, 'O LORD of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant, but will give to your servant a son, then I will give him to the LORD all the days of his life, and no razor shall touch his head." After reading that I wrote in my journal: "I pray for a husband and vow to make our marriage as sacrificial, Christ-centered, and gospel-centered as you enable me to do. Thank you for the beautiful picture of how you used Hannah's anguish and weakness to change Israel and provide a godly leader. I pray in the same way that you'd use my weakness and sin to bring Yourself glory." 

After hearing Dr. Finn speak at Fall Getaway on the evening of October 4th, I headed over to a bonfire. There were about 100 college students crowded around the fire and so naturally it was really cramped and hard to see anyone. I enjoyed talking with several students and meeting new people. At some point in the night, I was standing in a group of friends and began talking to a guy who I had mutual friends in common with but hadn't met before. That's when I first met Alex. I knew Alex came with the professor from Southeastern (Dr. Finn) that was teaching us for the weekend. Since I'm a student at the same seminary, shortly after meeting we started talking about Southeastern and classes we've both taken. We ended up talking for 30-40 minutes about our classes, theology, church planting, and lots of other things. It was a great conversation and was one of those rare times when I felt like I immediately and naturally connected with a guy. I still didn't really think anything of it, but just thought, "Wow! He was really nice and smart and interesting. I enjoyed talking to him!"

This was taken the night Alex and I met (just a few hours before the bonfire)

This was taken the night Alex and I met (just a few hours before the bonfire)

I found this out later, but because my back was to the fire, Alex never saw what I looked like and didn't know who I was the next day. Apparently people had noticed us talking that night and one of our mutual friends asked Alex what he thought about me. Alex said, "I don't know who she is or what she looks like, but I really loved everything she had to say!" Alex did figure out who I was the next day and we had a few more short conversations.

Saturday night after Dr. Finn's last talk, we had a big dance party. I was standing in a group of girls and Alex walked right up to us. I expected him to ask the group of girls if any of them wanted to dance, but he looked directly at me and asked me if I wanted to dance! I was so surprised! I had so much fun dancing with him and felt really strongly that I wanted to get to know him better. Yet I didn't see how that would happen since Alex lived in North Carolina. I thought, "I'm sure nothing will come of this, he seems too good to be true. Maybe he'll at least add me on Facebook or something?"

Sunday morning, our whole group of students headed to Crosspoint. I was assigned to serve at the Welcome Desk that day. I assumed I probably wouldn't get to see or talk to Alex again since I knew I'd be busy serving and that he was probably leaving right after the service. Shortly before the service started, I saw Alex walk up to the Welcome Desk out of the corner of my eye. I was busy talking with another girl but could tell that he was waiting to talk to me. When I was free, Alex came up to me and said, "I probably won't see you after the service so I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed meeting you this weekend." And then he asked if I would give him my phone number. I said yes!!! He handed his phone to me so that I could type my number in and I got really nervous so I started talking fast and explaining to him how my last name is spelled like "payment" with a "W." I immediately regretted explaining that to him! I probably sounded so nervous and silly!

Check back next time to hear the next part of our story...

Alex and his brother Zack at Fall Getaway

Alex and his brother Zack at Fall Getaway